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happy birthday christopher

Happy Birthday Christopher!

My Darling Angel Christopher, as your 11th birthday nears,
All I can say is that I miss you so desperately
That I cannot even begin to put it into words.
So many things that are happening here,
And I want to have you here as a part of them,
If I can’t have that, then I just want to be with you now.
Your baby brother Mark is growing up to be a lot like you,
In so many boyish ways.
We see so much of you in him,
But we realize that he just isn’t you.
Why oh why couldn’t we get to see you and Mark grow up together?
But having a baby to hold again was wonderful,
And I thank you for that beautiful gift.
Now Mark isn’t even a baby any more...
And my arms are empty again, and I am missing you even more.
Your “little” sister Rachel has now surpassed you,
In that she has made her first communion.
And I still keep asking, why couldn’t you?
And very shortly, Rachel will have outlived you,
My dear Christopher, how did that ever come to be?
And how do we ever cope with that milestone,
When it does get here?
Hugs and kisses from Rachel and Mark are so very sweet,
But without you, my first born, my little buddy, my life will never be complete.
This hole in my heart just cannot be filled until you and I are together again,
In sweet paradise...
Now your daddy has finally finished your “lego room,”
And it truly is a beautiful tribute to you.
But all I can see is what is missing --
I want so badly to see you with all of your legos in there...
There are some people who think that we have too many reminders of you here.
I do agree that it is painful at times to see your toys, your clothes, your pictures,
And not be able to see you....
But I will never get rid of anything that was a part of your life,
It would be like losing you all over again.
Your things will stay with me until the wonderful day that you and I are reunited.
And now again for your birthday this year,
your daddy and me and Aunt Jean and Uncle Billy will run fast,
Well, as fast as we can,
In your memory... the one thing you always wished you could do.
I just hope so much that you are running fast now, with the angels.
And that you will run fast with us too...
We all love you, Darling Christopher,
And we miss you much more than mere words could ever say.
Others keep telling us that you are always with us,
But I just want to feel your warm embrace and kiss your soft silky hair
And hold you in my arms forever and ever... for my love for you goes beyond forever...

From the bottom of our broken hearts,
We wish you a happy 11th birthday, Angel Christopher.
Written by Maria Faller, with a lot of help from Christopher, I am sure of that!
April 30, 2001


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